Monday, June 8, 2009
And so a year has flown by at what seems like warp speed...Just feels like months ago I was discovering what it is to help people and animals, what it is to stand by for someone and let people stand by me. I feel more than a little stupid realizing all this now. Its an old cliche' that you never know how much the people around mean to you until they're not around or...Just not around as much. So much has happened, I wish I just had the patience to do right by some people (person). Well, its only national service, but 'End-of-Eras' are always bittersweet. Its just not the same even when you go back to it, sometimes you out grow it, sometimes you just have to move on. Travels' the very nature we live in, so why fight it?...We all just have to remember to choose our own paths, not to regret and not to dwell if we make mistakes. I made a huge mistake a month ago, one I wish I had the patience to think through before I said and did so many stupid things. What kind of a person breaks up a friendship right? Being in a blind panic about how I felt notwithstanding. I don't know a lot. I don't know if I can build the bridges I've utterly burnt, if I would get the chance or even if I deserve a second chance. I've seen a light so bright get snuffed out and instead of embracing the shining light I had, I blew it out. I lashed out at the one person who knew me, the one light that could always guide me on my darkest days. Looking back on today, the people who came down to see me off, the advice they gave me...I've so much gratitude for all of them...I don't know what kind of person I would be today without them. I've learnt to live for myself now, because I realized that trying to make people happy is how live for myself...Its how I am happy...I hope to find better days, solace and some peace of mind...Better still if I can help someone else find it with me...
Send me on my way still smiling
Maybe that's the way I should go,
Straight into the mouth of the unknown
I left the spare key on the table
Never really thought I'd be able to say
I merely visit on the weekends
I lost my whole life and a dear friend
I finally put it all together,
But nothing really lasts forever
I had to make a choice that was not mine,
I had to say goodbye for the last time
I kept my whole life in suitcase,
Never really stayed in one place
Maybe that's the way it should be,
You know I've led my life like a gypsy
I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, nevermind
God knows I've tried
Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same
Call me your favorite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way
...I'll always keep you inside, you healed my
heart and my life... And you know I try
BYE.
6:10 PM