I feel frickin happy to have fulfilled my vow man...I've now made a few new ones and just hope the big guy upstairs can help me out with them...
BYE.
10:35 PM
I've never depended on people, and I never will. I know my flaws are open season, I'm not naive and its time I showed it. I'm gonna disappear for some people. You don't need to bother, I don't need to be.
P.S. And no I dont fucking feel like talking about it
BYE.
5:45 PM
BYE.
1:52 AM
To speak is suicide, cover up the bleeding heart pearched on my shirt, bending but never breaking...Holding on is harder than it seems, when you're reaching for so much more...
BYE.
9:31 AM
You know, a most of the times when something generally bad happens, you see it coming…Its just that you don’t know how to preempt it…It comes so fast and hard, and always from your blindside…There’s no barriers or cushions…Only blunt force; and the aftermath just leaves you physically and mentally weak…Pathetic and broken…You don’t feel like doing anything…Not talking to anyone, not study, not even wake up…You just stick to something monotonous, something meaningless…Something that distracts and swallows you in to a world where you worry about nothing but the task…Then the question slams in to you, ‘why me?’…Because no one else feels the same pain or could they even relate…You see everyone happy, about something in their life, but if you had that kind of happiness it just makes it higher for you to fall…You know you will, and there’s no one there to catch you…You feel contented on your own but still more than welcome company, though you never truly depend on anyone…You find a nice quiet place, so you can tear open those scars and secretly bleed out all the anger, fear and blame on something that you know, something real, something that defines you...So you dont forget who you are…Still, the blood filling up your veins doesn’t half feel like your own…The same hurt you’ve learned to hide so well is now harder to let go because you’ve pushed it so deep down, its more painful to pull out…You find it harder to tell anyone because, you can see the sadness they feel for you in their eyes and it kills you even more to see that look…You, hate the fact that the problem is not straight forward, that you’re going to be dragged through the mud just a little longer…No, you still repair, you still recover and prepare for the next time…The next blow, and just brace for it...When you fall so far down your sun and skies fade out, but you still managed that ‘one-finger’ grip…Somewhere between despair and desperation…And if you’re lucky enough, somewhere along that long climb back up, there’s that extra length of rope for you to pull yourself up…And all you can do is hope that you don’t get dragged that far down the next time…
BYE.
12:20 PM